The caravan cafe at the quayside - the white one. There are a lot of 'live on' boats - some smarter than others.

This is where I sometimes have lunch - it is a short walk from the flat but sometimes feels a long way.  Today - it was too cold to sit outside. I was zapped again when I got back - but I did overdo it by trying to walk too far. Groan.

I saw the oncology consultant on Thursday.

There is no easy way to say this - it is easier to write about the nice things in life. I am in the valley of the shadow of death again, having lived in the sunny uplands (and some of them very sunny) for so long that I have perhaps forgotten the shadow.

The cancer is growing again, maybe not unexpected although the implications have not sunk in yet - and we do not have enough information to know where it will go. I have not taken cancer meditation for some time and  I cannot continue with the wonder-drug (Tarceva) on which I did pretty well for well over a year. I am to get another lot of chemo (combined peretrexed and cisplatin). The side effects are a lot harder than the chemo I have had in the last couple of years. I have to go into the oncology ward to get the treatment and then stay overnight, getting out the next day, all being well. This starts next Sunday.

 Dear friends - thanks for your support and communications - they comfort me beyond what I can express.

Appendix

Look back to around Sept 2009 for earlier references to the valley. It comes from:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff comfort me.

River Deben Nessie?

Seen on River Deben at luchtime - why should Scotland have all the monsters?

And then a dip for the last two days - I did totter very slowly to Costa on Saturday and the caravan cafe today. Then I did nothing. Very boring - and I have had enough of it!

It does seem that the big downers of this week were indeed due to coming off the last few mg of steriod too quickly. It can play havoc with the metabolism! I now have some more with instructions to take a low dose for two weeks - then review further reductions.
I feel a lot better today - although not back to where I was last week.

No pictures to illustrate this - - - I am feeling pretty zapped out - - - which is why no-one has had any communication from me.

And not due to driving around too much. I have spent a bit of time surfing around for the side effects of coming off steroids. To cut a lot of detail - I think I have mild withdrawal effects - mainly extreme fatigue, thirst and the ability to sleep for hours. So am holing up again and trying not to do anything stressful. Made easier by horrible weather. I intend to bounce back - - - .

Winter woodland from my (parked) car.

My car would not start a couple of weeks ago. Today - I felt I had the energy to ring the AA and get the battery (new in October) checked and charged. As part of the re-charging, I went a short ride out towards Orford, through lots of winter woodland. Even if I do not use it much - it is essential part of life - so well done AA and me.

I was pretty tired when I got back and have done nothing much since - -

Weeks go past - - fast.
Several days at the beginning of the week where I managed to totter up to the coffee shops in the Thoroughfare and had my eye on the river path and taking some pictures. I also did a bit of geology reading and was picking up a few strands of life.

But for a couple of days I have not been getting better at the same rate - and have felt too feeble to have the energy to do much - even emails. I think this is due to reduction in the dose of steroids I am taking, as it co-incides with when I started on a lower dose.  Frustrating - - - .

The new water wheel for the Tidemill - and the crane: November 2011

I have been out of the flat several times this week - marking continued (if somewhat slow) progress. I take very short and shakey walks - it is surprising how unfit one gets after a few weeks without much activity. I have yet to get as far as the Tidemill - but made it to the coffee shops in the main thoroughfare yesterday - and the first espresso for two months.

The Tidemill is being renovated and the new wheel was built on-site and lowered into place. I missed the actual craning bit. There will be a very small mill pond and we hope they will grind wheat for us to buy for bread - eventually.

Surf on Long Sands, Tynemout h - 2009. A metaphor.

Happy New Year to you all

And thanks again for reading my blog and for your various comments and emails - I really appreciate them.

The picture - this is a metaphor for us entering the rough waters of the year ahead. Not without excitement and fun - we hope.