Lookfar out of the water and cleaned off. It looks cleaner than it is.

Lookfar is tucked away in a corner of the marina. And how did I get a picture - well - I took it myself. Drove down to Tidemill - looked at boats and had a couple of chats with people. First time out for a long time. And the sun was shining. Then fried egg for lunch in the caravan cafe -  tired after for the rest of the day - but worth it.

I saw the consultant this morning. The conclusion is that the chemotherapy is starting to work, so I will continue with it for a while (every three weeks). The side effects (even the fatigue) are, of course, better than the alternative.

Lookfar - March 2011 launch. Admire the crane.

An excuse to show my boat. It is being lifted out this week - I shall not be there to take a picture so use this one taken when she was launched last year. Note the clean underwater part - which will be disgusting when she is lifted, but hosed off ready for a general cleanup.

I am still fatigued -  but perhaps slightly better. I am trying to tidy the junk in my flat. Unsure whether I will ever get to use Lookfar again - but intend to get her sorted out - incase - - - .

Matilda in St Andrews outer harbour as the tide goes out. 2004

A good place and a good boat - and a wonder that I sailed so far in so small a boat (I sailed from North Shields). The weather was wet most of the time too - I got soft after that.

The horrible symptoms are due to fatigue - induced by a combination of the cancer and the chemo. I feel a lot better today and yesterday - but not leaping around yet. Thanks again for your good thoughts, cards, support and much else. xx

Sailing past St Abbs Head in Matilda -  2004

I have gone round St Abbs lots of times since in different boats. I had no idea that there is real wild life under the keel.
Zapped out still -  much as yesterday

 wolf fish - another metaphor (picture from J.J.Greenfield. Taken at St Abbs Head nature reserve.

Also at:- http://www.oceaneyephoto.com/gallery_150662.html

I am not sure what they are metaphors for exactly - whatever seems to fit. I find them truly hideous and therefore refer to my present condition. (BTW - they eat shell fish - not people.)

Update - still zapped-out. But part of it seems to have been a lung infection - I started anti-biotics a day ago. Obviously have enough energy to locate the fish!

dear friends,
Thanks for all your cards and emails and notes. If you do not hear from me - I am pretty zapped out and find writing exhausting. But will be in touch eventually. xxx

All I have done is sit around feeling very much the worse for wear - just about able to totter at snail's pace around the flat. And do some very powerful sleeping.

I did get into Ipswich hospital - (a bed came available) - in ice and cold on Monday evening - ready for the chemo on Tuesday.

Tuesday - a heavy day. The complex infusions started mid afternoon and ended at half-past midnight. The morning a nightmare of wondering whether it would happen and being seen by various (helpful)  people. For example - a palliative care doctor. Exhausting. The afternoon and evening - a nightmare of boredom and exhaustion, especially as the machine that handles it appeared to malfunction - in fact it was the cannula - adding an extra 2 hours to the 7 that it takes in theory.

Today - I was released in the afternoon - after various tests. Good (if somewhat exhausting) to be home.

I have felt actually ill for over a week and since my visit to the caravan cafe last week I  have not been able to go out at all.

Add to that - I have yet to get chemotherapy (which involves an overnight stay) because there are no beds in the ward. I was hyped up yesterday for getting in and spent an unhappy day here instead - one of the darkest I have had. It seems as if it might take some time for a bed to be availabe - I guess I am in a queue - and meantime I still feel ill.

View the other way - from the caravan cafe.

Just managed to make it here today - with Rhoda - in bright sunshine. But very cold - and hardly makes one want to live aboard a boat. I did not overdo it for once!