20-00 hrs: Went streakering this morning and am beginning to feel at one with the boat. Righted a capsize and got back in easily. Lots of muscles I did not know I had are now aching. Excellent fun. And have done very little since apart from look at piles of books on the flooir in the hope that they will put themselves onto shelves.

Week in Woodbridge 7

a.m.: to the gym, which was crowded and my muscles tired from yesterday, but came out feeling better. Now settling down to do something useful - - namely a re-organisation of the books, files and other stuff in my room.

20-20 hrs: I spent the afternoon at B&Q getting shelves and other bits to help with the tidy-up. I fear it is displacement activity to avoid tax and writing! Spent time since I got back making the shlves and carrying files and books around - it has to be done I suppose.

In the home - -

New sewing machine and a pile of curtains

10-00 hrs: The old one gave up the struggle, so I went to Ipswich, found both a car park and the machine shop. Hours of harmless fun creating curtains.

Tax and accounts

10-00 hrs: The annual fight with tax and income spreadsheets done and in the post. This will not be the end of it as there are always questions  - - -  but  made easier by nasty wet and cold weather confining me indoors. Hope they don't tax blackberries next.

The side-effects of the chemotherapy have started to show. There is a pattern - of feeling quite good for a few days due to taking anti-sickness and other drugs. Then a plunge - mostly feeling fatigue again. This is very hard to describe - it is a feeling of not being able to do anything - so is very boring - but better than the alternative. Hooray for surfing the web, paying bills and such like mindless activities.

another quiet week - apart from TV news

18-10- hrs: A whole week since I wrote an entry - not that I did anything of moment last week - new reading glasses - boat sale progressing slowly - interesting geology session at U3A geology group about volcanoes - the usual stuff. But I did stare at the tele for three days and pondered the hung parliament and the likely outcome of con-dem coalition. Also read a few newspapers. I don't know if this was genuine fascination with the process or a reaction to very cold weather (for the time of year) from which I lurked indoors.

The chemo capsules appear to be doing their job - and the side effects, whilst noticable (especially tiredness and slightly upset digestion), are relatively mild and OK if I am careful not to overeat or overdo the activities.

on the river Deben

20-30 hrs: yesterday - one of the coldest days I have ever spent on safety cover (even on the open sea off the Tyne) and two people were cold enough to be wrapped in blankets. I had lots of spare pullovers and an off-shore jacket - and wore the whole lot.

The picture is of Ramsholt beach from the club's very nice river boat - with the trainees and various dinghies - about half way down-river to the mouth. I found some fossils along the cliff, but mostly lurked out of the wind and rain. At least it stopped me watching the excitement of the news on the tv. But today I gave in - and after going to the gym, I stayed in, switched on the tele and watched the hung parliament programmes on the 24 hour news channels - sadly fascinating. (I did some sewing and other domestic stuff whilst the tele was on - - .)

things much as usual

21-10 hrs: There is a super all-day-breakfast-type cafe in a caravan on the quayside - between the houseboats and the railway, where we have eaten a lot of chips and all day breakfasts. They are closed this week for renovation. Part of the project appears to be to remove the old (1960s style) model and replace it with a newer one - closest to us in the picture. I just hope the food stays the same - - - . The caravan will be sited back from the quayside - roughly where the yellow skip is; they appear to be parked at the edge whilst they make the foundation larger - - - .

Otherwise all much as usual in Woodbridge - apart from sunshine and a couple of days cleaning off the old rubbing strake on the Jaguar. I continue to feel quite well although I do get tired. There are even the usual domestic annoyances - like the battery on my car being on the edge of wearing out. I spend a lot of time looking at pictures of the volcano in Iceland - and none looking at pictures of our great leaders.

continue to take mind off election

17-10 hrs: proof that the Jaguar has a keel - I had the boat lifted for inspection - interesting - exhausting. But the Jaguar's keel is fine and I am putting the purchase in hand.

So far this week - I have worried on about the boats and done a lot of domestic things (hoovering, shopping and so on). But I have also had some pleasant walks along the river and lunch outside. So not much to say really - except that it is oddly tiring and pleasant.

the mysterious number at the beginning of each blog

20-30: What does this number mean?

Sorry for confusion - it is the time (GMT in winter - BST in summer) when I start to write the blog. I did this because the times posted shown at the bottom are figments of the imagination of the servers which host the blog. I assume these are in a different time zone and were apparently showing posts in the middle of the night! I shall write it thus in future - 20-30 hrs:

I felt horrible over the weekend but I suddenly felt more 'normal' today - thanks for electronic hugs - they do help.

Trivia - this week

9-30: Written on Friday - although I started it Tuesday - how misleading. A view if I look out of the wndow - car park - station platform - boat park - River Deben beyond.

A down feeling for some of this week, although hard to describe what exactly I mean by this. Monday - I woke late and felt very breathless with the ache in my left lung more noticable than before. But - by mid-afternoon - no ache. Maybe excersise did the trick (1 hour cycling and some weights in the morning) or maybe it is random. I continue to feel breathless on occasions - I worry about these relatively small changes - enough to make me wonder (in down moods) about how long 'extra time' is going to be.

And then the rest of the week up and down - culminating in a shopping expedition to Ipswich by train on Friday and hog roast for lunch there in bright sunshine. I have posted most of my cards - and I have visited my boat and hope a new owner turns up soon. Otherwise - all the usual trivia of everyday life.

Fatigue - and boat now ready for sale

17-30: No suitable pictures for this post - me riding a bike etc: is not very photogenic.

I have not written this week because I was too fatigued to formulate something interesting. I did some prodding around the internet about lung cancer and fatigue and discovered some interesting abstracts of articles (mostly European) about treatments for fatigue. These all say that not much is known about the causes of fatigue - which figures with discussions I have had on the subject; it also seems unclear whether it is a side-effect of the cancer or a side-effect of the treatment. The one thing I have found (but not the detail) is that the best treatment for fatigue is - you've guessed it - excersise. So I have parked the car today - and cycled to the shops and boat. But this is all rather circular because I feel a lot better today and therefore happy to cycle around. I also have some very good daily routines - which are supposed to strengthen different bits each day - so back to that routine as well.

I finished clearing the boat on Monday - and brought all my tools home. I still visit her and today I put some gunge on the hull to clean off the brown stains aquired along the East Anglian coast and rivers. It was sunny and nice - so I only did one side and went off to gossip with other denizens of the marina. For the rest of the week - I pottered around - library - a bit of knitting - a bit of needlework - joined the University of the Third Age - and so on. Ipswich Hospital for chemo-therapy on Friday - uneventful.

this week

9-25: This week - no posts - the side effects of the chemotherapy.

I have not written this week because I have felt too cross but also I think this because it takes more energy to write on the darker side than about the the trivia. The side effects are wearing off today - and I am hoping they will be less up-front by the weekend.

The side effects are hard to describe; they are a mixture of feelings (largely bad temper, but also boredom, mild depression of the spirits, lack of good concentration) and physical states that I describe as 'fatigue' or 'lethargy'. I am not sure that these words do justice to what it feels like because there are also other things. One is that I either have no interest in food or I am very hungry. When I get hungry - I feel much worse - so have concentrated on frequent and yummie meals - and making cakes - I think an attempt to take some control over things. But otherwise I find there is no escape; if I stay in, I feel restless, bad tempered and fatigued: if I go out I feel fatigued and ache and get cross.

I am aware of the Valley

19-45: I have been more aware of the valley of the shadow of death in the last few days. For one thing I have been reading and thinking about death and also collecting together poetry about death.

It is interesting that one seeks explanations for changes like this. Perhaps the surprise should be that I stopped thinking about death for a while, rather than that it has come back. However, I do think that getting my possessions out of their boxes makes me aware of mortality - and churns up the feelings. Yep - bits of pot, some books and old research papers have the power to do that.

But I spent today sitting around in the sun on the boat - which - as always - gave me courage to walk in the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil - - .

I move ashore

20-30: I have been living on my boat (with a break of a couple of weeks in Ipswich hospital) since early May - nearly five months. On Monday - I felt it was time to move ashore to the flat in Woodbridge - I think because the sky has clouded over and rain threatens, at the same time as the temperature dropped. So I packed essential gear (a surprising amount), loaded it to my car and left my trusty boat. It started to rain as I left and has hardly stopped since.

Today - the furniture and numerous boxes of gear and books were delivered and I am now trying to make a home out of piles of boxes.

The effects of the chemo-therapy has slightly reduced today. On Monday - I used the couple of good hours in the morning to move in - and spent the rest of the day lying around in a hammock. On Tuesday - I was able to do things for longer - I joined the library - and I overdid the action and had to retreat to the hammock for the rest of the day. Today - I unpacked boxes until lunchtime - then made sure the boat is OK and then rested for a short time (in a chair because the hammock was surrounded by boxes.)

the cockpit

9-20: The cockpit.
Here I sit in the morning - often in the sun. Today - quite warm but there is thin cloud. Then I can rest in the sun in the afternoon - and the weather forecast is for good weather to continue for a while. I also ride my bike to the shops and flat and am living a peaceful life.

I have a view of the station

10-20: the view of the station and so on from the living room - a nice window as well.
I have been fortunate to have had good views in places where I have lived. Gradually moving stuff in here but - obviously - the boat is the place.

Yesterday - sunshine and the clear skies and wonderful views of stars. Today - cloud and wind.

Burnham-on-Crouch

17-30: I grow lettuce in the cockpit to avoid scurvy.

Today - walked into Burnham, which is very quiet. This is probably because it is one of those places that come alive for one week a year (Burnham Week) and at some weekends. The wind was strong enough to deter some sailors, but I was surprised that there were no dinghies and only a handful of yachts/motor boats. I am also surprised that there are not more 'posh' boats around. Those on the moorings and in the marina are nice and normal. Perhaps I expected Burnham to be like Cowes and such-like places in the Solent - and am glad it is not for lots of reasons.