Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Striding Edge in the Lake District - a metaphor
I have walked this several times - years ago. It is a metaphor for how my life feels just now. I walk in the sunny uplands rather than in the valley of the shadow - but it is often a narrow path with steep sides - and things can go wrong. It is a very beautiful, if scary, walk along the Edge to Helvellyn - so the metaphor is quite a good one.

Today I feel as if I might slip off the sunny uplands. Yesterday I was due to have a maintenance dose of Pemetrexed as usual but this was aborted becuase the blood test results for kidney function were outside the limits. Some more blood tests showed that it was not due to high blood sugar or leaching of calcium from my bones - which is a good thing. It is probably due to toxicities building up from the chemotherapy - and so I am off the drug for a couple of weeks. This has the advantage of no side-effects - but I worry about whether the 'holiday' from the chemo will allow the cancer to grow again (although I am told it won't grow in that short time!) and also whether it is knackering important organs. Fret - fret - worry - worry - all rather pointless but understandable.

So I take active steps to do stuff - a long session in the gym and now off nurture Lookfar in sunshine (for once).

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