Thursday, 25 February 2010

cancer review - the downs are not just side-effects

19-20 hrs: Today - to the hosptial for an appointment with the consultant for a review. I really don't know how best to report on this because the whole process is a bit mind-bending, not to say tiring.

One surprise was that there is a bit of the cancer visible on the Xrays as 'suspicious' bits - I had not quite appreciated that they are visible but they are there on the earlier Xrays as well - so I assume I did not look as closely as I did this time. Apparently - if it were not being treated with chemotherapy,
it would develop quickly. I knew this but needed to be told again - it shows that I really have got it, even if I cannot see it or feel it.

So what about the side effects I have reported in earlier posts? Some of them may not actually be side effects. Some of the symptoms of delayed emotional reaction/ post traumatic stress / depression are mistaken for side effects. I wonder if issues associated with emotional reactions can be more readily addressed than physical reactions to harmful chemicals - or what.

And the treatment - carry on taking vinorelbine - but in capsule form. Carry on walking along the beaches of Suffolk - preferably in sunshine. Carry on sailing - hopefully in a smaller boat (but in the Southerly if it has not sold). Carry on getting fitter. But no sunshine on the NHS! I shall develop a plan for dealing with emotional reactions (which one might call depression I suppose, although it does not feel the right word) on Saturday when the sun is due to shine for part of the day.

No comments: