Friday, 19 February 2010

Ups and Downs of cancer and treatments

19-20 hrs: The normal pattern with chemo therapy has been a week or so of gradual 'down' after treatment. This is then followed by a week of gradual 'up'. Each time this pattern is different in detail but works as a generalisation. The last cycle was different - my feeling of wellbeing went up for a couple of days after but since then it has gone down and continued to go down.

I have found this difficult - partly I became used to the previous pattern of ups and downs and have resisted accepting a new pattern. But also I did forget that health can go down as well as up - whereas most of my expectations are for things to get better - and then get frightened if the trajectory is not upwards all the time. I also think I may have been trying too hard to get back to 'normal' through rehabilitation - working out in the gym, joining various groups and meeting people. Most of the 'down' has been an increase in breathlessness and more indigestion than usual.
More chemo today - so we will see what happens next.

So a week of unexpected difficulty - not to mention some hideous wet weather after the weekend.

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