Lorna - September 1953. Setting off for my first day at girls grammer school. Note the weird uniform and shoes.

1950s: In Southsea: This is displaying a life-changing turn in my life. Going to grammar school in the 1950s opened doors that I did not appreciate at the time and that I took only after many hesitations, stops and starts. And perhaps it marked the end of a childhood in which I ran free and wore shorts or pretty dresses - in contrast to school uniform.

I look pretty pleased here but I was not happy at school, although looking back there were some good things (like the arguments we had about politics and radio programmes at lunchtime, where we sat in a dining room and served ourselves from serving dishes.)  I did not fit in to the school ethos - I did not want to conform and  so just seemed naughty and awkward. There was too much fuss about being 'ladylike', learning languages and wearing school uniform alongside too few facilities for games.

February 29th - leap year, 1972 and 2012.

We bought this at the time. It is tin glazed earthenware - delftware - decorated in the traditional way - hand painted blue.

How does Rhoda get to be 40 already! Amazing.
(Aidan has one too - coming later)

Thursday 26th August - two years since diagnosis

I called the end of the first year 'the birthday of my life ' -  it is a new life and has not been without its fun and pleasures, so I acknowledge the end of the second year of survival. This makes me sound very grand - with an 'official' birthday and a normal birthday!
And I thank the NHS oncology team at Ipswich hospital for their good care.

The year in Woodbridge

9-15 hrs: It may seem strange to summarise a year as a graph - but hey  - I have a PhD in economic history - so can think graphs.

The source - I started to try to score how I felt on my own scale in December last year as a way of keeping track of progress (or otherwise). Each day I have put a number (which I decide on based on a list of definitions of things I think encapsulate my well being) as to how I feel in a spreadsheet - which allows me to draw lots of graphs - and stare at them from time to time. The black line is a 14 day moving average. 

The interesting thing is that it does reflect the year. The  three spikes down were (starting from March) a couple of days feeling ill, some hay fever and a finger infection. The big dip in July was when the chemo therapy stopped working. The rise was when the new medication (Tarceva) started to work, and has allowed my life to be more interesting and more varied.

It also shows that life was more of a roller-coaster in the earlier part of the year, related to fortnightly doses of poisonous chemo-therapy drugs. With Tarceva there is more of a plateau with smaller ups and downs (largely due to periods of 'overdoing it' punctuated by lazing around.) The best thing I have found to do of late is to write serious documetation for the Joomla! Documentation project - of which more in another post. This exercises the brain. I go to the gym and do a lot of walking around - which keeps the outer part of the body exercised.

I have not 'recovered' or been given my life back in the sense of living as I used to (ie having a large boat and going to the Shetlands!) or being able to rush around as I would like to do. But I have a small and nippy boat, and I have found a happy way of life here.

So - happy new year people - and thanks for reading my blog and for your responses at various times.

More season's greetings

11-00 hrs: This was the view of the Deben that I came across as I came up to the river wall last Monday. It was breathtaking and the picture does not do it justice. It is a proper winter scene to wish everyone a good holiday. 

The river path is now open again and I am intending to walk through this view when the sun comes out - but with mud and no frost.

Later - There is still ice in the woods. I had a lovely walk through some woods and then along the whole length of the river wall.  Managed not to over-eat (yet) and have done a lot of writing and playing with screen images and layouts using Wiki-media. A happy day.

Happy winter festivals to everyone

19-20 hrs:

This is my Christmas and New Year card to everyone - because I have not sent cards this year - for reasons of sloth. But I  am now saying it is because of the weather.

It is the pattern on my curtains - I bought the fabric a long time ago - when I was a post-graduate student. And I have hung them in various places and they always look great. So in sending you this - I am sending something with meaning - and thinking of you all during the next couple of weeks as we move into a new year.

It is snowing just now and has been cold here. But nothing like as snowy and cold as elsewhere. My boat is out of the water and has a layer of ice and snow on it - and I had even planned to sail it in December - before the weather started.

CSIP 20th Anniversary Conference

18-35 hrs: CSIP(Cetacean Stranding Investigation Programme). Just back from a day in London Zoo - to celebrate (by eating and listening to papers about Cetacean strandings) its 20th anniversary.  I was - as you might guess - involved (with a colleague) with developing a database and a web front-end - and work is continuing to include more data and more features.

Leaving Newcastle

8-50 hrs: The London-bound train (taking me to Peterborough) comes into Newcastle station. The main structure dates from the 1840's - and still looks impressive and elegant.

It feels strange to be back and I think I need to impose a new discipline on life - the usual stuff of getting up earlier and going to bed later - eating a bit better and doing more exercise. I also have a list covering a whole sheet of paper of improving things to do. Today - to the gym, clear the mess from my desk, look for some rocks for geology group tomorrow, read some reports, go to the shops and sit in the sun. Yes - rehabilitation is good and I intend to be back - -.

I go to the boathouse at Tynemouth Sailing Club

8-30 hrs: Wednesday - to TSC for the evening. This is the boathouse (a former RNLB house in the corner of the beach built in the mid 19th century). I spent many evenings 'doing' boats here for years - this time  chatted and watched repairs to boats - then to the bar and home much too late.

Feeling pretty good - met loads of people in the University during the day - wonderful to see you all - - .

I go to Newcastle - -

17-10 hrs: - - Newcastle Central Station viewed from the hall window next to my room (their clock is an hour wrong). Small station in  Suffolk to Big station in Newcastle - and all in great comfort thanks to low cost web site for 1st class train tickets.

And staying in comfort as well - thanks to the web - in a small attic room (thus the view) in the big hotel next to the station. I have already seen lots of friends here and am off to meet more in a short time. Good stuff.

12-00 hrs: Today - a year since diagnosis - no special celebration as being alive in a nice place is celebration in itself.

The picture illustrates part of my regular stamping ground. To the left - the building where I live. The railway station is just behind the boat masts and tree. The boats are in Andy Seedhouse's yard (I nearly bought an old Hurley here but someone put an offer before I did). In the foregound - the reeds are a reminder that part of Woodbridge along the river was marshland and could be again were it not for the sea walls.

Survival for a year - a question - -

21.00 hrs: This week marks a year since I was diagnosed with lung cancer.
Question - do I celebrate - is it the birthday of my life?

About a third of female lung cancer patients survive the first year. (2006 = 30% women. It was 12% in 1975).  http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/type/lung-cancer/treatment/statistics-and-outlook-for-lung-cancer The figures have some meaning for me - they put a rough number to the probablilities of being alive - -  

But how to celebrate - maybe I should spend part of a day being unselfish for once!

This entry is dedicated to Poppy -

 - - who died of anaphylactic shock on Sunday 20th June - aged 19 - and a truly lovely person.

And to Steve, Marcia, Sunshine and Dave - cry them a river and remember.
I have not known you for long - but grieve none-the-less.

a rant about voting - remember 1928

10-50 hrs: I have voted - I think I prefer to do my civic duty by going to the polling station - but have opted for a postal vote for some reason.

Why vote - even in a safe seat?

Because your vote does get counted in the overall total. And - more important - because people fought for the right to vote for a long time; the date for universal male suffrage in the UK was 1918. When my mother was born in 1916, most men - but no women - could vote. Some women could vote after 1918 but it was not until 1928 that all women could vote. 1928 - I still find this astonishingly recent. See my entry for March 10th.

Woodbridge end of the line + an update

20-00 hrs: A train from London coming into Woodbridge station. This picture has no particular relevance to the post! I just took it yesterday.

If you have not heard from me lately - this is because I have a new bad habit. Time was when I wrote blogs, letters and emails at various times in the day and especially in the evening. Now I watch TV and DVDs (at least in the evening) - I am hoping the novelty will wear off without a big effort.

I am feeling a lot better than I did a couple of weeks ago. I hope this lasts! I am pottering around doing the usual things - domestic stuff, going to University of the Third age groups and messing about a little bit with boats. I am hoping the boating bits will increase as the weather improves. I continue to go to the fitness centre and am still improving my muscle tone. The big problem is still breathlessness if I do not pace my walking speed.

I started on a different mode of taking the chemotherapy a couple of weeks ago. I get capsules from the oncology unit in the hospital but take them at home. This is much less hassle and seems to produce fewer side effects - which I also hope will last. Obviously.

Monday's child - -

9.30 hrs: I expect there is a more idealogically sound ending - this is the original - thought to have originated to teach the days of the week. I was born on a Monday apparently. Cool.
-------------------------------------

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay

International Women's Day: Thursdays Child

14-15 hrs: anything to get away from housework - - took their pictures instead of hoovering.

These are my 1970s 'women's lib' earings - and I do try to live my life by feminist precepts. So remember folks - I do not burn bras (and you are allowed a brief laugh here) - but I do vote. Women did not get the vote when my mother was born in 1916 - the dates 1918 but really 1928 when all women could vote. Reliable contraceptives - 1961 when the pill became available.

So recent! Still far to go - thus Thursdays Child (has far to go).
Spend a day noting bad gender things in the media - you will be shocked.

Tynemouth sailing club: thank you

14-05 hrs: There is a yellow bouy off the lighthouse here -(St Mary's lighthouse, Whitley Bay).

There is an annual dinghy race from the mouth of the Tyne to this bouy and back - (note the typical sea conditions in the picture). For some years I was race officer for this race and some people were kind enough to enjoy it and state it was the best race of the year etc etc. They usually said this when the thick, black mist descended (yet they still got back) or the wind got up (and they still got back). The resue fleet (run by the wonderful Red Seal Rescue) also enjoyed it for some reason best known to themselves (they are young). So fun for everyone and terror for the race officer (and the ARO - usually Howard Thomson (known as HT))

Tynemouth Sailing club voted to rename this race the 'Scammell Dash' . I was extremely touched by this recognition and this log entry thanks everyone at TSC for doing this - and for their kind thoughts since I was ill - and thanks HT for enjoying it with me for many years.

I am back - and another beach

18-00: I was in South Devon for Xmas - this is Slapton Lea (I first went there nearly 50 years ago) - the best beach I walked along with my brother, even tho' there is no sand. Nothing in the direction of the picture but a good pub behind me, where we had excellent coffee to give us the strength to walk back.

Thanks to Roger for many kindnesses and a lot of cooking so that we could gross out in the proper seasonal way.

Christmas 2009

19-30: There is still snow on the ground here - in some places white and smooth and good for playing. It did thaw into a slushy mess in places today. I don't think they are used to snow here as there are no tobogans and no snow-men.

I will probably be off-line until next week - after the three boxing days following Xmas day. I am off to see my brother in Devon (by train) and I am not going to take my laptop. I am hoping to hole up infront of his wood-burning stove, avoid eating too much and maybe go for a few walks. I am feeling a bit tired just now - partly due to excessive shopping at the weekend! - but I really blame the usual side-effects of chemo.

Thank you for your various letters, emails and cards - it is lovely to hear from you and it is also wonderfully life-affirming.