16-00 hrs: I have spent all day writing and editing Joomla! documentation. What I call - the Joomla! project. It would be nice to be able to release it into the wild sooner rather than later.

I have not really drunk a lot of coffee but it signifies something about measuring out life.

Wigeon. They hang out along the river on grassy knolls that cover at high water springs. Nice.

21-00 hrs: I do not want you to assume anything in particlar about how I am getting on. This is a bit unfair as I tend to tell you about what I am doing, which always makes me sound a lot more active and positive than I feel. I find it hard to write about anything else  - . So I tell you that last week was focussed on my Joomla! documentation project, interspersed with shopping and cooking and walks along the river and various worries.

But the important thing is that I have been wondering (at some length and in some depth) about what I would be doing if I were normally healthy. This leads me to alternately want to plan ahead and not to plan ahead. 

I rather think the pictures with my two previous posts are significant as an indication of looking ahead and not having a fixed point.

21-00 hrs: Orford beach - only accessible by boat. To the left - the open sea:  to the right - the River Ore.
I went on a river trip for an hour - wearing every stitch of clothing I could get into. http://www.orfordrivertrips.co.uk/ The boat was picking up fishermen - so I got to go ashore for a walk.  Good stuff and continues to convince readers that I am really living a holiday-life here. But I had done three hours writing documentation before I left.

12-25 hrs: Looking downstream along the river wall downstream from Woodbridge. To the left - the river with wigeon feeding on the grassy patches. To the right - pasture with wigeon on the flooded pools. I wonder if they nest here later in the year. The pasture is slightly saline and grazed by large cattle.

I often walk along this path - sometimes it is quiet and empty - at others it is too crowded.

18-00 hours: I took this today alongside a building near the river, where it has been in sight for some days. Shows something about the weather round here I suppose, which is now a lot warmer than it has been. Not many other green shoots around - but I have seen pussy-willow.

15-40 hours: This is a reconstruction of  Rhynia gwynne-vaughanii - one of the most common plants in the Rhynie ecosystem (about 400 million years ago).

I have no idea why I have not posted something for so long. It is not that I have been doing lots of significant things. But after New Year various things have turned up - like going to Ipswich hospital for an Xray (taking an hour or so - hardly a reason for not writing). A combination of getting yet more stuff out of my boat, scrubbing the bottom of boats at the sailing club, sanding my rudder in the bath, trying to write documentation, trying to 'do' plant fossils, having visitors and doing the normal things of life. 

The reconstruction is of  Rhynia gwynne-vaughanii - a member of an extinct group of primitive plants called the rhyniophytes, characterised by simple branching and naked stems.  But why is this here? - I have been torturing the brain trying to understand things about plant evolution- for the U3A geology group. We have now reached the Devonian. There are some cherts (from the village of Rhynie in north east Scotland, about 50km north west of Aberdeen) with a whole ecosystem preserved in detail in the chert. And I am unfamiliar with all the concepts and all the vocabulary - - .

And what about 2011 - -

9-00 hrs: - - we don't know! - - so the usual wishes that it turns out better than other years. 

One thing I am doing - I am writing some 'hands-on' documentation for people getting started using Joomla! I have been intending to tell you about this for some time because it is now central to my life. It is difficult and has made a great improvement to my general well-being. I have not felt bored since I started doing it for real.  And I feel more alive - doing something new and somehow real. This is all supported by the new medication, Tarceva. But my feeling of well-being has gone up since I started this writing. Strange and understandable.

Things done so far start here:-

http://docs.joomla.org/Joomla!_Getting_Started_Manual

I had to learn another mark-up language for the wiki layout - and I am supposed to write in short sentances - so it does nothing for literary style - sigh.

I notice I have not said what Jooma! does - I leave that for another post.

The year in Woodbridge

9-15 hrs: It may seem strange to summarise a year as a graph - but hey  - I have a PhD in economic history - so can think graphs.

The source - I started to try to score how I felt on my own scale in December last year as a way of keeping track of progress (or otherwise). Each day I have put a number (which I decide on based on a list of definitions of things I think encapsulate my well being) as to how I feel in a spreadsheet - which allows me to draw lots of graphs - and stare at them from time to time. The black line is a 14 day moving average. 

The interesting thing is that it does reflect the year. The  three spikes down were (starting from March) a couple of days feeling ill, some hay fever and a finger infection. The big dip in July was when the chemo therapy stopped working. The rise was when the new medication (Tarceva) started to work, and has allowed my life to be more interesting and more varied.

It also shows that life was more of a roller-coaster in the earlier part of the year, related to fortnightly doses of poisonous chemo-therapy drugs. With Tarceva there is more of a plateau with smaller ups and downs (largely due to periods of 'overdoing it' punctuated by lazing around.) The best thing I have found to do of late is to write serious documetation for the Joomla! Documentation project - of which more in another post. This exercises the brain. I go to the gym and do a lot of walking around - which keeps the outer part of the body exercised.

I have not 'recovered' or been given my life back in the sense of living as I used to (ie having a large boat and going to the Shetlands!) or being able to rush around as I would like to do. But I have a small and nippy boat, and I have found a happy way of life here.

So - happy new year people - and thanks for reading my blog and for your responses at various times.

More weather

18-00: Same place - lower tide- different weather. It was even foggier today and it is due to last for several more days.

The good thing is that I have gone walks but not as far as I would in sunshine. So am pushing on with the Joomla! project.

More season's greetings

11-00 hrs: This was the view of the Deben that I came across as I came up to the river wall last Monday. It was breathtaking and the picture does not do it justice. It is a proper winter scene to wish everyone a good holiday. 

The river path is now open again and I am intending to walk through this view when the sun comes out - but with mud and no frost.

Later - There is still ice in the woods. I had a lovely walk through some woods and then along the whole length of the river wall.  Managed not to over-eat (yet) and have done a lot of writing and playing with screen images and layouts using Wiki-media. A happy day.

Food between the ice blocks

21-45 hrs: The ice has more or less gone today - very glad to have seen it yesterday. Black-tailed Godwit gets lucky.

Ice and mud

9-20 hrs: Ice forms over the mud at low tide - some mixed with snow. We wondered what happens when the tide comes in - does the ice float or does the water run in over the top. As the rising tide was during darkness this week - I did not observe it. But I do offer the picture to show what seems to happen.

The tide comes in and lifts some of the ice and breaks it up. This is carried upstream and  downstream on the tide. When there is no obstacle - it floats off downstream or melts. When, as in the picture, there is something  in the way, the ice stays put in large slabs. Some ice seems to stick to the bottom and get covered in mud after a couple of tides. The process leaves a lot of mud for the birds and some ice for us to look at.

Happy winter festivals to everyone

19-20 hrs:

This is my Christmas and New Year card to everyone - because I have not sent cards this year - for reasons of sloth. But I  am now saying it is because of the weather.

It is the pattern on my curtains - I bought the fabric a long time ago - when I was a post-graduate student. And I have hung them in various places and they always look great. So in sending you this - I am sending something with meaning - and thinking of you all during the next couple of weeks as we move into a new year.

It is snowing just now and has been cold here. But nothing like as snowy and cold as elsewhere. My boat is out of the water and has a layer of ice and snow on it - and I had even planned to sail it in December - before the weather started.

17-15 hrs: I have just noticed a whole week since I last posted. All well here - just have not turned to the blog this week. Most of my time was spent writing Joomla! documentation and then feeling too mind-blown to write anything else. And the usual trips to the gym and the supermarket. I also decided to have the boat lifted out of the water as the weather looks set to continue unwelcoming for sailing - so more boat-clearing.

I gave a talk to the Deben Yacht Club about whether it is really scary and lonely to sail by oneself. It was really an excuse to look at my pictures again:-

  http://www.flickr.com/photos/lornapics/sets/72157625409985288/

 

16-00 hrs: Looking left and right along the Thoroughfare in Woodbridge. As I have reported before - people around here know how to enjoy themselves! I had hog roast for lunch from a stall - - and the snow has melted.

11-25 hrs; Lookfar in snow which seems a lot for Woodbridge. It shows that I have not risked myself by going onto the pontoon - and also that I am not going to do a lot of sailing just now. The marina is starting to freeze over - helped by the layer of snow.

Woodbridge in snow and cold

17-20 hrs: boats not going anywhere from the sailing club boat park - my Laser is in the first row. My talk about sailing single handed has been put off until next week. Lookfar is covered in snow and I am not going onto  slippery bits until it all melt - annoyingly I did not get a cover over her (not expecting snow at this time as this is supposed to be the balmy South).

There has not been as much snow and cold here as there has been further north - which is something - not sure what - snow can be amusing if one has masses of thermals and no urgent things to do.

I was tired after the excesses of CISP - and have tended to do no more than go to the gym, browse around the web (mostly geology) and walk along the river to the coffee bar - not an unpleasant way of life.

CSIP 20th Anniversary Conference

18-35 hrs: CSIP(Cetacean Stranding Investigation Programme). Just back from a day in London Zoo - to celebrate (by eating and listening to papers about Cetacean strandings) its 20th anniversary.  I was - as you might guess - involved (with a colleague) with developing a database and a web front-end - and work is continuing to include more data and more features.

What is the similarity between the Tardis and Lookfar?

 

21-10 hrs

The similarity is that they both hold a lot more inside than it would seem possible from the outside.

I cleared out most of the things left in Lookfar today - and it looked as if I had cleared out a Tardis - there was so much stuff. I wonder if the Doctor ever clears out his vessel - - .This is also proof - if proof is needed - that I watch too much TV. 

I have left Lookfar so that I can sail over the winter if the tides and the weather are ever right at the same time. Today - cold and not enough wind, and the tide high too early in the day.

The week in Woodbridge

12-26 hrs:

Back to the trivia of everyday life when I returned from London - no pictures can adequately  illustrate this. The trivia are, however, important in that they make up the fabric of life. And there were lots of them this week - adding up to enough to stop bordom - but I have also felt quite tired on occasions. Dentist - sailing club AGM - the gym three times - geology group on the Ordocivian (and some preparation for this) - a cold walk along the gravel beach at Shingle Street to collect pebbles - work party at the sailing club (this week a bonfire, it was very hard work dragging large branches around) - visit to the oncology counsellor in Ipswich. And non-trivial  phone calls to  my uncle John (who is ill) and my cousin. 

The main thing at the back of my mind is the 'Joomla! Project' - thinking out how to write documentation to get people started using Joomla - some progress in the thinking but none in the writing!

I get to Mornington Crescent

9-45 hrs: Not everyone gets here.
I walked from Camden - the Rules do not say how you get from one place to another - so maybe it is a new rule that you have to walk!

Followers who haven't a clue what this is about - you have to hear it played - look at the wikipedia article. 

In Woodbridge - and Joomla!

8-45 hrs: The Joomla! icon. Open Source Matters. I have not used Open Source software before and find the enthusiasm on the web sites - interesting. Found these two concepts in several places - the Joomlasphere and Joomla ecosystem / ecology. I guess I am part of the ecosystem now - - pause for thought about metaphores - - .

Coming back - I feel enlivened and well. So life has been a combination of the usual domestic trivia (taxing the car, paying bills, putting out the rubbish, going to the dentist and so on) and trying to sort out my understanding of Joomla. I am moving ahead to do some work on documentation for beginners for the Joomla! project itself. Whether I have the skill and energy - we will see but I think the project will expand to fill the time and energy available - especially in horrible weather. And who are the beginners anyway - -.

Leaving Newcastle

8-50 hrs: The London-bound train (taking me to Peterborough) comes into Newcastle station. The main structure dates from the 1840's - and still looks impressive and elegant.

It feels strange to be back and I think I need to impose a new discipline on life - the usual stuff of getting up earlier and going to bed later - eating a bit better and doing more exercise. I also have a list covering a whole sheet of paper of improving things to do. Today - to the gym, clear the mess from my desk, look for some rocks for geology group tomorrow, read some reports, go to the shops and sit in the sun. Yes - rehabilitation is good and I intend to be back - -.

I am back - -

- -safe and sound. Thank you all for a lovely time. Even the trains were punctual.

I walk from Cullercoats to Tynemouth

18-00 hrs: The Long Sands. 

On Friday - Metro to Cullercoats station - then , with my neighbour, I walked from my house (which is beyond the church and off the edge of the picture) to the coffee bar on the beach (which is one of the best places I know for drinking coffee and eating cakes and the like - including the Tea Rooms at Orford). We drank coffee, talked, watched the tide go down and the waves come up and walked back again. Very enjoyable - although I was pretty tired by I got back to Newcastle. 

But I did go out for soup and sausages later - with a lot of (refreshing) political debate as is appropriate on Guy Fawkes night - whether or not the Gun Powder Plot is/was 'true'.

Newcastle University

18-15hrs: Looking up towards Claremont Tower, in which I worked for a long time. This was a car park two years ago - then a building site - now a very nice building facing the main road - and also much of the campus has been smartened up with new plantings and street furniture, so even the older buildings look revived.

Drank too much coffee with colleagues - lovely to see you all.

I go to the boathouse at Tynemouth Sailing Club

8-30 hrs: Wednesday - to TSC for the evening. This is the boathouse (a former RNLB house in the corner of the beach built in the mid 19th century). I spent many evenings 'doing' boats here for years - this time  chatted and watched repairs to boats - then to the bar and home much too late.

Feeling pretty good - met loads of people in the University during the day - wonderful to see you all - - .

I go to Newcastle - -

17-10 hrs: - - Newcastle Central Station viewed from the hall window next to my room (their clock is an hour wrong). Small station in  Suffolk to Big station in Newcastle - and all in great comfort thanks to low cost web site for 1st class train tickets.

And staying in comfort as well - thanks to the web - in a small attic room (thus the view) in the big hotel next to the station. I have already seen lots of friends here and am off to meet more in a short time. Good stuff.

Joomla! Days - fantastic

17-40 hrs: I have been trying to learn more about Joomla! - largely out of curiosity and interest. It will also help me to manage the U3A web site, which uses Joomla!. So I signed up for this two day Joomla! event in Ipswich - 20 minute drive away. Joomla! is a Content Management Systerm used world-wide for creating and managing web sites - http://www.joomla.org/. It is Open Source and free to download the core product. They referred to it as an ecosystem of people contributing code, writing extra bits, creating web sites for clients and much else - in amazing profusion.

So a weekend of wall to wall Joomla! from 9-00 to 5-00, apart from excessive amounts of excellent food and drink and lots of talking. 

I will report on one thing - I have volunteered to contribute! Not code - but documentation - there is a wiki at http://docs.joomla.org/Main_Page. I have offered to look at the Getting Started pages, which should be enough to stop the onset of boredom.

Scammell-Dash results - October 3rd

20-25 hrs: 

Results for the race round the yellow bouy - now called the Scammell-Dash - sailed in a lot of wind and a reach there and back. Well done everyone and sorry not to have been there.

		PY	Start Time	Finish Time	Elapsed	Corrected
Nick & Sarah	59er	905	11:50:02	13:45:46	6944	7673
Alan & Gill	Ent	1116	11:50:02	14:17:23	8841	7922
Loz	Laser	1078	11:50:02	14:17:23	8841	8201
Gerry & Rosie	Ent	1116	11:50:02	14:19:15	8953	8022
Clive	Laser	1078	11:50:02	14:20:20	9018	8365
Lorry & Caragh	Ent	1116	11:50:02	14:20:30	9028	8090

the wind and the rain - -

18-00 hrs: Turner's Orford Ness lighthouse: the weather was not this rough today and we did not go to Orford - but putting off our sailing trip gives me an excuse to use this great image.

We were intending to take Lookfar down the river for a couple hours this afternoon - but - gusts up to 40 mph and heavy rain put us off. Instead - we went to the mouth of the Deben by road and had lunch in the cafe at Felixstowe Ferry. And then we walked along the sea wall until we got wet.

I sail the Laser again - -

18-45 hrs: I took the Laser out again today - the wind was strong at times and I planed like this picture (taken in the Tyne estuary some years ago)  - same dry suit - new hat - different boat - no waves - same mega-fun. The wind is very gusty along the river, and there are also wind holes and big wind shifts - it is quite testing and one cannot just get onto the plane and stay there for a mile or so. But I stayed upright - almost fell in backwards when the wind dropped but I was quite careful!

I stayed out for well over an hour and was no more tired after than I would have been a couple of years ago - I had to work harder to  avoid moored boats and mud banks than I would in the Tyne estuary or out to sea. And I lobbed the mast into the hole much more easily than I would have been able to do without weight training - so hooray for that as well.

Deben from Woodbridge

10-30 hrs: See yesterday's post for a continuation. Nasty weather today - so am ashore.

Lookfar is berthed in the Yacht harbour - this shows the river to the Tips and connects to the chartlet in the previous post. One nautical mile is the distance from 52-05' to 52-04'. It feels a lot further because of the way the channel winds around and the big gusts of wind and the boats on moorings. Challenging sailing in lots of ways - but I miss the big waves of the North East coast.

The tides are up in the middle of the day - so sailing if weather OK

20-20 hrs: Today - sunshine - a down river sail with a good, if gusty, wind, but returning for a late lunch due to tides. Tired for the rest of the day. This is the Deben downstream from Woodbridge. I normally go down river at least to the Rocks. At high water - it is all blue; the yellow bits are muddy mud, deep enough to sail over at high tide.

This follows on from an interesting week. U3A geology group, work on U3A web site, pruned a large bush outside the sailing club, had lunch with Aidan and watched too much TV in the evenings because I had got tired doing things all day, but not cuts -TV.

Doing things- good - due to new wonder-drug.

To the beach with fossils - - Bawdsey

11-30 hrs: Friday's expedition - not the most beautiful beach but it is interesting  - a wave cut platform over London Clay; cliffs of London clay undercut by encroaching sea; some dramatic landslips; sea defenses to the north; Red Crag beds at the top of the cliff - out of reach; plant fossils on the beach; lots of interesting pebbles.

The beach extends along to the Deben, where there is more gravel (and sea kale growing at the top of the beach).  A tiring walk as it is on stones most of the way and no nice tea room to go to afterwards -but fun.

To the lighthouse - Orford Ness

20-44 hrs:  Approach to Orford Ness lighthouse

 

 A view of the lighthouse and the sea condition - glad to be looking at it from the shore.

Today - Saturday - ferry to Orford Ness at 10-00; worth getting the first one as the site felt properly remote. A walk along made-up tracks and a shingle path to the very edge of the Ness, where this wonderful lighthouse teeters on the brink of the shingle, although when it was built (in 1792) it was some way back from the shore. Excellent day out - saw lots of other interesting things - walked 9 kms - finishing with tea and cake in Orford Tea rooms.

A favourite place

19-45 hrs: A favourite place - Covent Garden - a view almost matching a late seventeenth century print of the same buildings when it was a fruit and veg: market.

Today - lunch with Aidan in a pleasant eaterie off Drury Lane. A walk round a few shops and the Covent Garden area before heading back for the train - all at a normal pace. I am feeling well and renewed.

- and a fourth day on the river - in a Rib!

12-30 hrs: Sunday was also spent on the river - this time doing rescue. The picture was taken in August - and shows the view downstream with a fleet going to race in a wider part of the river - at high water.

This Sunday - bright sunshine all day - lots of wind but the boats stayed upright as they whizzed round. I sat around in the sun on a RIB and watched sailing - another very nice day.

Three days on the river - expedition three - Saturday

19-20 hrs: Not a boat - but the digger that has been working on the river bank for ages. Sailing out of Woodbridge - I pass close by.

On Saturday - off out again. There were gusts to at least 25 K. - I went downriver and back as before. I timed it nicely and managed to hove-to for lunch again but drifted fast in the gusts. Another lovely day - and a good contribution to rehabilitation.

Three days on the river; expedition two - Friday

9-20 hrs: On a mooring outside the marina - looking downstream - the entrance is just behind the main sheet.

On Friday - more wind so I put in a reef - not very beautiful in the picture, but it worked well with a smaller genoa - newly cut to fit the furler. I sailed off the mooring and did not use the engine except to get back into the marina. This time I went only as far as Waldringford - and hove-to for lunch - returned whilst the tide was slack - so got back at good speed. The wind direction changed in the gusts by 45 degrees - so I had to adjust course and sails all the time - good stuff and hooray for weight training and stronger muscles. Feeling well and the rash has almost gone.

Three days on the river; expedition one - Thursday

21-30 hrs: An egret in Woodbridge. There are lots along the river - normally too far away to photo - or I am too busy sailing (or both).

On Thursday - very little wind and too much motoring. I foolishly went too far (to Ramsholt) where I picked up a mooring for lunch and stayed too long. So I had to bang back against the tide to get to the marina before the water over the sill was too shallow to get in. Made it OK. Nice day - sunny intervals. Makes me feel better altogether.

Whatever Happened to Feminism?

20-35 hrs:  a radio 4 programme -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00v1nlk

Recent studies have shown that women are due to shoulder nearly three quarters of the burden of budget cuts - why are feminists not marching on the Treasury? Good question. Interesting programme and links on the web site.

A long view

18-00 hrs: I still produce graphs based on how I feel each day (according to my own score system) but I have not uploaded any of late. This one is a long view of this year - the single black line is a 28 day moving average.

I had a review with the consultant today and it looks as if Tarceva is doing the trick. I feel a lot better than I did and the Xrays show fewer cancer blobs. Keep on taking the pills!

The wonder-graph illustrates this and also shows the dip in July when Vinorelbine stopped working. I did get very used to the slight upward curve from March and found it hard to cope with the changes in July. So I am now glad to be able to demonstrate an upward curve again, especially as it has a much smoother trajectory such that I feel a little better each day - rather than having big ups and downs as I did before. The rash is very unsightly but - - I don't see it!

Next stop - rehabilitation - less boredom - more cycling and walking - and learning to like being retired.

First day of winter - geology trip to Orford

13-15 hrs:  Coralline Crag at Crag Pit farm, near Orford. Taken during a short break in the heavy rain on Sunday. It was too wet and cold to get the camera out in the morning to show rain-soaked members of the OU Geology Society (with a few of us from U3A geology group) looking at bits of rock around Orford. The bottom of the picture shows a bed of Bryozoan - which I had to read about afterwards to see their interest and importance. Details of the site - an SSSI

Lunch in a warm and dry tea-room overlooking the rain-soaked river - a good day inspite of the rain.

Last day of summer?

17-00 hrs: Today - cloud and rain - but yesterday - the sun shone warmly and I took the boat out downstream and back for a few hours - in tee shirt and shorts. Downstream - strong wind and tide against me - so used the engine a lot to achieve 2.5 knots. I returned at slack water - speeds up to 6.5 knots - a series of broad reaches interspersed with goose winging - full sail - a lot of wind - fun until I had to slow down to get into Woodbridge but I avoided moored boats - the main mishap was getting a lot of slime and weed in the boat from picking up a mooring. 

I am hoping this will not be the last sail of the year - just of summer-type sailing in warm weather. The boat can stay safely in the water for most of the winter and I have a lot of warm gear.

autumnal foraging

20-00 hrs: picking sloes for various concoctions. 

The boat hook is very useful for foraging - we collected ripe sloes and elderberries along the Deben at the weekend. The blackberries looked nice and fat and ripe, but were tastless - so we left them.

I continue to improve gradually - and the rash continues to look pretty horrid - and I continue to want to scratch it.

update

17-50 hrs: Rodinia broke up over 500 million years ago. 
I was right - rodinia and pre cambrian Scotland has kept me out of mishief this week - and distracted me from clearing up the mess in my house. Also a useful distraction from the main side effect of Tarceva - a rash on my face which I need to leave alone and not scratch! I think it is working - I feel OK - and not breathless. A bit lazy - but that is a side-effect of life.

Rodinia - a pre Cambrian continent

12-00 hrs: Let myself in for preparing a session for the U3A geology group on pre-cambrian rocks. This is the first continental mass (that is known about) - 750 million years ago. Scotland is attached to Canada - marked SC on the turqiose bit between the yellow (the core of ancestral Europe)  and dark blue (Gonwanaland) masses. 

 I think I am going to be beating my brain with this for the rest of the week - keeps me out of mischief I suppose - and also shows that I continue to improve.

Maritime Woodbridge weekend

20-15 hrs:  There were small, traditional beach boats with young people (notice one of them up the mast on the oyster smack beyond) - and larger boats moored for us to admire right along the river, from the marina to the sailing club. Lots of food stalls as well - a pleasant way to spend the days - especially as I avoided the re-enactment of Norman invasions. I spent a lot of time admiring the wooden boats - and trying to take pictures of them. 

I felt a bit better from the end of last week - maybe the Tarceva is doing something useful. Cross fingers, as it is good to have enough energy to enjoy things.

Scammell Dash re-scheduled for October 3rd.

12-16 hrs: The weather was too awful on Sunday to let the fleet out of the piers.  Sara has commented that the Dash is re-scheduled for October 3rd. We require decent weather then please!

High winds here too for days - and not enough sun. I feel slightly less zapped-out and a lot less breathless - cross fingers - - .